Chris Bray Head of Marketing and Income Generation, Eden Valley Hospice and Jigsaw Cumbria’s Children’s Hospice & NLP Business Practitioner.
I was eager to benefit from NLP Business Practitioner course after seeing first-hand the transformational impact it had on a colleague, it was like having a different person come back to the office……………and wondering what was in it for me……….
My colleague had a more positive approach, a calmer outlook, was able to get tasks done in a more controlled and impactful way and ask for more clarification to make certain she knew what the expectations were around a specific task was and making sure she had the resources in place to deliver within schedule. It was then I realised I had to place greater value on NLP and the benefits it could have for me and my role at the hospice, which is very challenging.
For those not in the Carlisle area, Eden Valley Hospice has been part of the community for the past 25 years and is well known for supporting local people with palliative care needs.
In my role, there is high expectation to achieve budgetary targets, the hospice needs over £3million each year to support both the palliative care needs of adults and their families living in the north of the county, but also for Jigsaw, the children’s hospice providing support for children and young adults across the whole of Cumbria.
In the current fundraising climate, with austerity on the government agenda coupled with the uncertainties of Brexit, it has become increasingly difficult to raise funds, especially with competition from other local good causes locally and the power of the national brands with big budgets all chasing the same pot of finite money from the (local) community.
NLP Business Practitioner training provided lots of useful tools to manage my work load, relationships with colleagues and gave me much greater insight into the value of both giving and receiving feedback. It is part of my tool-kit that I regularly ask for feedback from colleagues on how I can improve, what support they need and am comfortable knowing there is no failure, only feedback. At first it felt strange, but over time it feels normal to do and my colleagues understand why it is important and how it helps.
I believe life truly is what we make it and by making some relatively small adjustments to my day to day activities, I began to notice a significant impact on my outcomes and achievements………..
A specific example where NLP has made a big difference in my role:
The Importance of Rapport
In the past when reporting to the board, where there are some powerful personalities, I have struggled to work effectively and at times could become frustrated by what I felt to be unhelpful contributions. On reflection, prior to the NLP training some of my responses didn’t bring out the best of me.
Using my learning it was clear I wasn’t in rapport with some board members and this impacted on the outcomes and my ability to successfully deliver my role. Having greater awareness of this, I was able to work towards achieving rapport and so improve communication and dialogue. The end result was leaving meetings feeling in a better place. When in rapport I was became comfortable asking lots more questions, actively listening and seeking clarification when I didn’t understand why a certain question was being asked or the reasons behind it. I also became less defensive and more open, in the knowledge everyone sees things differently….and it can be all to easy to jump to judgement !!
Whilst there are still challenges, my approach to board meetings is more positive, I am less anxious, which makes a difference to my contribution and confidence. I have also become adept at managing my state when in board meetings. I gave a recent presentation sharing the fundraising and marketing plans for the year ahead, normally I would have felt under pressure. But this time I did a lot of preparation, made sure I took my time and presented the key messages ……and the session went really well. I had pictured this would happen and how I would feel …… and it gave me the confidence I needed. It also meant I was relaxed during the meeting and happy to answer any questions as they arose.
What I love about NLP is knowing that I am always learning and the awareness of modelling behaviour that I see in others. It might be when I watch a TEDx talk or meet someone that inspires or motivates me, I look at how they are presenting themselves, what I can learn from them and how I can incorporate that into my work.
I have noticed I smile more and people comment on it. I am more relaxed and focussed. It also works in my home life, including my journey to work, which involves just under an hour drive along a busy road (which most days resembles a racing track). I used to get stressed with other drivers, if I was cut up at a junction or overtaken going around a bend I would get really annoyed. Now my reaction is different. I can choose to get frustrated and carry that frustration around for the rest of the day, or I can ignore it and make sure that it doesn’t have a negative impact. Knowing I have the choice and can control the way I react – and knowing I can do this makes a massive difference. I am so pleased I made the decision to take the time and have the training, I went with an open mind, learnt new skills, was prepared to try new ways of working including ‘Swish’ technique which looked and felt totally bizarre initially but found in certain circumstances it can be really useful. I would recommend anyone thinking about the course to give it a go and would be more than happy to have a chat either by phone or email if there are any questions somebody might have.
And now time for an advert… Eden Valley Hospice and Jigsaw Cumbria’s Children’s Hospice are hosting the biggest and best Colour Run on Sunday 14th May. If getting covered in powdered paint whilst enjoying a 5km run/walk/jog with family and friends is your thing, whilst raising money for the hospice, then please head to http://www.edenvalleyhospice.org/support-us/events/event/colour-run-2017 – it would be great to have you join us.
‘The Intention Impact Conundrum’ Reviewed By Georgia Cooper, aged 16…. and future Prime Minister!26th October 2018 - 10:38 am
Young Minds in Crisis and A Surprisingly Simple Solution!10th October 2018 - 10:45 am
You might be interested in…………
/by flomaddencoYou might be interested in…………Eleni’s other new book, which is available for pre-order this month too !!
Look Out For ‘The Intention Impact Conundrum’ Book Launch in April 2018
/by flomaddencoThe book: The Intention/Impact Conundrum is also the subject of my session at the NLP International Conference in May ! For details follow the link below. What it it is about, is beautifully summarised by Sue Knight NLP Master Trainer and author of NLP at Work:
“A great ‘bringing together’ of ways of thinking that result in simple, practical ways of learning and living in harmony with the world. What more could you ask?”
My second book ‘Everyday NLP’ is being co-authored with my friend and associate Eleni Sarantinou of Life Spheres and we expect to have our book also available for the NLP conference in May. The book looks at the key concepts of NLP, and as the title suggests, applies them in everyday situations. Find out more about Eleni on:
http://www.life-spheres.com/
Click on the link below to see the full Conference programme:
https://www.nlpconference.com/
And even better come and join me on my Sunday session:
I would love to see you there !!!
Listening to Understand….And Allow Others To Think!
/by flomaddencoAs a believer in the therapeutic process and the benefits of having space to think, question and be supportively challenged, (often by myself!), I am also very aware of the power of words.
The power to create shared understanding and, in enabling others to work out what they really mean, are wanting to say, have heard and, understood by others. This has been brought home further by my latest choice in audiobooks – a series of therapy sessions with the therapist Esther Perel – “Where Shall We Begin?”
In the space within my car, driving to and around for work, I have created a listening and thinking environment for me about the power and impact of words and, of truly being heard by others. How even in the closest of relationships we can be speaking a foreign, misheard language, where what we say is rarely what we are meaning and where our words contains layers of history and intention, with the potential for misunderstanding and misdirection. How so often it can seem that it is more important to have had “our say,” even when we have said it before, than to pay attention to what is really being said and asked to be listened to.
And in this listening zone of my car, where I can only listen, I have also learnt, how that act in itself can and does change the story(ies) which are being presented and the conversations which have and are being had.
For when we truly give another person the space and courage to speak their voice out loud, to think, wonder and work out what they really want to say and mean, we open up a whole new conversation and world of possibility – not only for them, but also for us.
So one of my resolutions this year, is to continue to develop my ability to shut up. To take a breath before I speak and, mentally check in with myself before I open my mouth and ask “for whom am I saying this ?…. what might happen if I didn’t?” To to go with the likely numerous resulting goldfish actions and, to continue to shut up.
For many people this will be a completely new experience for them in a conversation with me; a realisation that they have my attention, that I am really listening and that I want to understand their meaning and their learning. They have my time and my attention and what they are saying however they are saying it, matters to me.
To misquote Ronan Keating in Boyzone “I’ll say it best when I say less overall!”
And so my question to you, is what might happen, if that was how you had your next conversation……..?
And now…….Generative Coaching…and a New Course for 2018 !
/by flomaddencoUsing 3 minds instead of one ? That’s what I have been up to in Barcelona this Spring !
I have been privileged this Spring to undertake my Practitioner in Generative Coaching with Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan. So what’s different ?
“Generative” means to create a result that has never existed before in the world. It is the power of the entrepreneur, the artist, the philosopher, the inspirational leader. Generative Coaching is a set of tools for working with clients to enable them to discover and harness this power within themselves. It enables clients to transcend problems rather than just ‘sort’ them, and to move onto new, previously unimagined levels of creativity in both their personal and professional lives. Unlike conventional coaching, Generative Coaching treats barriers and threats as opportunities for deep personal change.
And the 3 minds ?
Try this: Think about how you know when you have made a good decision…….how do you know this…is it just in your head ?
When we are at our best/in the flow, we are not just thinking with our mind but also with our heart and our gut (our somatic mind). Similarly when we get stuck with a problem…..we usually experience the ‘stuckness’ in our head (cognitive mind). Generative Coaching focuses on getting the coachee into the optimum state to generate solutions from the cognitive, the somatic and something called the ‘field’ mind (the larger field of experience around us).
This approach now influences not just my coaching…it also informs my training of other coaches and will be a key element of the ‘Advanced Coaching’ course that I am launching in the Spring with my associate Richard Bisiker of Personal Summits. Unlike some ‘advanced coaching courses’ there will be a pre-requisite that participants have already had previous coach training……….so the focus will be on really building on existing skills rather than going back to basics ! Get in touch with me if you think this might be for you !
For more information on Richard: www.personalsummits.com/
With my fellow course graduates in Barcelona in May !
Let Go and Be More Dog
/by flomaddenco“That’s great,” says Florence. Then, with a smile, “You could write that up for Personal Effects”……………
We are drinking tea and chatting and I have just outlined my new project – my very new project; idea at 10 that morning, review and commitment in the car on the long drive up to Cumbria, first steps taken before my arrival and the project is real and happening and has always been there.
I say outlined – what I really mean is gabbled in a long, passionate outpouring of thoughts and parts of the picture as they flash into my mind accompanied by energetic gestures which are so not me – well, perhaps they are now.
The idea – that can wait for another day. The question is – how did I get here?
And it is a good question. For I look back over the last year and find it hard to detect the path from there to here.
The next day, I have the good fortune to accompany Florence and Pat on a walk with their two dogs. It is a dry but cloudy day – a hint of rain only – and a cool breeze that darts around us as we walk over hill and by river. Our walk is purposeful but not urgent and we cover the miles at a pace that allows the world to walk with us. The dogs, however, follow paths that defy logic – crossing and criss-crossing, here and there, pausing to investigate an interesting scent, then darting off in random directions just for the sheer hell of it.
I realise later that the last year has been a bit dog.
The energy and exuberance I now feel is the result of a series of seemingly random forays into dense undergrowth with the occasional pause when something I find smells interesting.
At the beginning of this ‘walk’, I was concerned by my inability to start things that matter – to take the ideas and endless plans in my head and make them real. I could procrastinate for England (unless we were playing Germany, then I would probably miss a penalty).
“What are you good at starting? What are you good at changing? What are you good at finishing? What patterns do you notice about yourself?”, asked Florence. The resulting lists sowed seeds – although I did not know this at the time.
I have become good at noticing and managing my state. Robert Dilts’ COACH model plays a big part in this. I find that I can choose to become Centred and Open; to be Attentive and Connected to myself and to the wider system and that I can Hold myself in a state of resourcefulness and curiosity. In a quiet corner of a cathedral in Gdansk last November, I met myself and saw myself to be good and connected to a wonderful greatness around me (this is a story for another time). The experience left me aware of a potential energy and connectedness that I had previously not felt.
I have also taken up Yoga and found, through the practice, a way of Letting Go. I started Yoga to find flexibility in mind and body. My guide to the physical practices has put me into many positions that take me to the edge of what I feel is possible. During one session, in a particularly difficult twist, I found myself about to give up when, out of consciousness, I sighed, smiled and the tension eased and I flowed further into the twist – just as she asked me to stop!
When this same pattern occurred again, I was ready for it. I realised that what was happening was an acceptance of how things were (the sigh), a sense of wellbeing at that acceptance (the smile) and a consequent loss of tension and gain in flexibility that allowed me to let go of inhibitions and find how much more I was capable of. And I realised that this Letting Go could be applied throughout my life.
For there to be Transformation – something must cease in order to create space for the new. Incremental change is ok, but unless space is created, those increments just build up and create stagnation and bloat (I love that word).
So now I am in control of my state and capable of letting go – ready for new beginnings. And new beginnings are there to be taken. And suddenly, without me noticing, I am a person who can take new steps without delay, without procrastination – and the project is underway and I am excited to find what happens with the next step.
I am centred, I am open, I have let go of the old – and the future is one of wonderful hidden paths and enticing smells. Time to be more dog.
Putting My NLP Business Practitioner to Work !
/by flomaddencoI’ve recently finished my NLP Business Practitioner course, and have been trying some of the NLP presuppositions on for size. A couple of them slipped straight on and immediately felt comfortable…….
“There is no failure, only feedback”, for example, was music to my ears – no more looking down on myself, feeling disappointed to not to have achieved what I want first time – I’ll just chalk it up to experience and press stop on the treadmill, BEFORE turning around…. and next time I’m sure I won’t end up in a heap on the floor. What a relief it is to have the belief that there is not failure, only feedback in my life!
Another one that I liked the look of was “Every action has an (unconscious) positive intention”. Brilliant! No need to feel guilty for “accidentally” eating a full box of Malteasers – my unconscious must want the best for me and I’m sure that it knows best, who am I to argue? Where this one became a little more difficult was when it came to applying it to the actions of others…………..
It wasn’t immediately obvious to me what the positive intention could possibly be when presented with wet towels left on the bed….a damp and disgusting bed to get into? When quizzed, the perpetrator informed me the intention was not to be late leaving the house – and in their map of the world, the 2 minutes it would have taken was vital. You can see I’m still struggling with believing that all actions have (unconscious) positive intentions, but I’m certainly giving it a go!
This one, for me, is like that pair of shoes that look great, but nip your toes when you wear them – I’m hoping they’ll loosen up and be comfortable with a bit of time.
The final one I have been exploring in detail is that “Everyone has a different map of the world.” What an adventure this one is to get into! Given the right space, I’ve found that others will very willingly show you around some of their map – some of the more public spaces at least, and it’s amazing what can be found there. Some of the things that I thought surely would be the same as my map, have been very different, even compared to people with whom I have a lot of shared experiences.
The more I ‘wear’ the presuppositions the more comfortable I find them, and I’m finding that they are having a hugely positive influence on how I see my world…………………and live in it !
Breaking Patterns to Let Myself and Others Shine !
/by Admin2Working with the talented Claire Bradshaw whilst attending Florence’s inaugural NLP Master Practitioner course, I identified a personal trait, a pattern, which I wanted to break as it was no longer serving me or others well………
I was curious to discover personal insights into how during a coaching session I am able to apply the questioning and listening skills that are useful in these environments allowing people to find their own solutions, and yet on a personal level, when close friends, colleagues and family are faced with stressful, emotional and challenging situations a desire to protect them takes over. The session with Claire concluded with the discovery and recognition that it is okay to let people you love hurt and letting people make things right for themselves would serve everyone much better. This was a pattern that needed breaking!!
I had the opportunity later in the course to be superbly guided through the thought provoking exercise “Imprinting” by Jim Maguire and it provided further insights into how this pattern had developed even more surprisingly where and when it all began!
As the unconscious mind has continued to process this information the desire to ‘protect people’ and ‘make everything okay’ for them has seemed to reduce perhaps even diminish. The benefits of not feeling responsible for others happiness and the need to ‘remove’ any pain has been quite liberating and a recent situation has really tested how far I have moved on.
My oldest and dearest friend recently received the devastating news that her husband was terminally ill. During the initial conversation I was faced with a huge limiting belief of “I can’t do this, I am not strong enough.” The old me would have sprung into action and said comforting words and described what actions would be needed to protect and make the pain go away.
However there has been a shift in me, and my response was simply to remind my friend that my support was unconditional and available at any time that it was required, and would be in whatever form she needed. There was no suggestion of what I could do to help or what I thought would make things better / easier, this was something I knew she could work out for herself. Her journey has been and will continue to be filled with a range of emotions and my support will continue as and when she asks / requires. I know I can’t take away the pain but that’s not my place to do so, finding her own way through will serve her well.
My friend, who happily throughout her adult life has allowed others to sort out finances, legal aspects, and other such ‘grown up’ tasks, never ceases to amaze me on a daily basis. From sorting out a car that won’t start, dealing with a broken boiler, meeting with social workers and nurses, all whilst caring for her sick husband and supporting their children. The friend who once said “I cant do this, I am not strong enough,” is barely recognizable.
I know that whilst the situation dictates sadness and sorrow, it has also brought forward newfound skills, confidence and courage; in the darkest of hours she has found a way to shine. She now has the knowledge that she can cope and she is strong enough and this will serve her well in the coming months / years.
Seeing what she has achieved, knowing what she might not have, had the old ‘protective me’ appeared, has signified an unhelpful pattern well and truly broken!
Using My Learning….. A Personal Reflection
/by Admin2Prior to attending my recent NLP Business Practitioner course I was pondering to myself is this course really going to change me and make me that Manager I wanted to be, which was to be more confident, challenging and assertive to my management team…………….
To me this would be a major accomplishment and would enable me to move forward on my timeline to get closer to my overall goal.
From attending the seven day course not only did I meet some incredible people who I can now call friends, but I watched Florence weave her magic over us all and enabling us to turn ourselves into just what we wanted. I have been on some training courses over my life time, but any training Florence delivers means something and so much so I can apply this easily back in the workplace.
I am not only a trainer but a line manager at px Limited and I have felt this training has ticked all the objectives I had and I sit here now chuckling away thinking how much I have helped others already.
The NLP approaches I learned worked extremely well with my team, helping them look forward to their goals…….. and I especially love their new found energy, all this just from some inspiring words and belief !!
I have set myself targets to practice my skills with my work colleagues and to continue my own personal journey I have set up a NLP working group with a work colleague so we have that “safe environment” to try new things or existing things and support each other.
So where is next on my journey? Well I say for now 2017 is all about putting into practice NLP Business Practitioner before I look at my timeline again to ensure I am still on track to reach my goal. From this my next milestone would be to take my NLP journey further with the NLP Master Practitioner course.
So to sum up my experience I feel my better rapport building, my focus on the ‘pillars of success’ and living with a more resourceful set of beliefs means I have all those resources around me that need to move forward !
NLP….. Making an Impact in the Third Sector
/by Admin2I was eager to benefit from NLP Business Practitioner course after seeing first-hand the transformational impact it had on a colleague, it was like having a different person come back to the office……………and wondering what was in it for me……….
My colleague had a more positive approach, a calmer outlook, was able to get tasks done in a more controlled and impactful way and ask for more clarification to make certain she knew what the expectations were around a specific task was and making sure she had the resources in place to deliver within schedule. It was then I realised I had to place greater value on NLP and the benefits it could have for me and my role at the hospice, which is very challenging.
For those not in the Carlisle area, Eden Valley Hospice has been part of the community for the past 25 years and is well known for supporting local people with palliative care needs.
In my role, there is high expectation to achieve budgetary targets, the hospice needs over £3million each year to support both the palliative care needs of adults and their families living in the north of the county, but also for Jigsaw, the children’s hospice providing support for children and young adults across the whole of Cumbria.
In the current fundraising climate, with austerity on the government agenda coupled with the uncertainties of Brexit, it has become increasingly difficult to raise funds, especially with competition from other local good causes locally and the power of the national brands with big budgets all chasing the same pot of finite money from the (local) community.
NLP Business Practitioner training provided lots of useful tools to manage my work load, relationships with colleagues and gave me much greater insight into the value of both giving and receiving feedback. It is part of my tool-kit that I regularly ask for feedback from colleagues on how I can improve, what support they need and am comfortable knowing there is no failure, only feedback. At first it felt strange, but over time it feels normal to do and my colleagues understand why it is important and how it helps.
I believe life truly is what we make it and by making some relatively small adjustments to my day to day activities, I began to notice a significant impact on my outcomes and achievements………..
A specific example where NLP has made a big difference in my role:
The Importance of Rapport
In the past when reporting to the board, where there are some powerful personalities, I have struggled to work effectively and at times could become frustrated by what I felt to be unhelpful contributions. On reflection, prior to the NLP training some of my responses didn’t bring out the best of me.
Using my learning it was clear I wasn’t in rapport with some board members and this impacted on the outcomes and my ability to successfully deliver my role. Having greater awareness of this, I was able to work towards achieving rapport and so improve communication and dialogue. The end result was leaving meetings feeling in a better place. When in rapport I was became comfortable asking lots more questions, actively listening and seeking clarification when I didn’t understand why a certain question was being asked or the reasons behind it. I also became less defensive and more open, in the knowledge everyone sees things differently….and it can be all to easy to jump to judgement !!
Whilst there are still challenges, my approach to board meetings is more positive, I am less anxious, which makes a difference to my contribution and confidence. I have also become adept at managing my state when in board meetings. I gave a recent presentation sharing the fundraising and marketing plans for the year ahead, normally I would have felt under pressure. But this time I did a lot of preparation, made sure I took my time and presented the key messages ……and the session went really well. I had pictured this would happen and how I would feel …… and it gave me the confidence I needed. It also meant I was relaxed during the meeting and happy to answer any questions as they arose.
What I love about NLP is knowing that I am always learning and the awareness of modelling behaviour that I see in others. It might be when I watch a TEDx talk or meet someone that inspires or motivates me, I look at how they are presenting themselves, what I can learn from them and how I can incorporate that into my work.
I have noticed I smile more and people comment on it. I am more relaxed and focussed. It also works in my home life, including my journey to work, which involves just under an hour drive along a busy road (which most days resembles a racing track). I used to get stressed with other drivers, if I was cut up at a junction or overtaken going around a bend I would get really annoyed. Now my reaction is different. I can choose to get frustrated and carry that frustration around for the rest of the day, or I can ignore it and make sure that it doesn’t have a negative impact. Knowing I have the choice and can control the way I react – and knowing I can do this makes a massive difference. I am so pleased I made the decision to take the time and have the training, I went with an open mind, learnt new skills, was prepared to try new ways of working including ‘Swish’ technique which looked and felt totally bizarre initially but found in certain circumstances it can be really useful. I would recommend anyone thinking about the course to give it a go and would be more than happy to have a chat either by phone or email if there are any questions somebody might have.
And now time for an advert… Eden Valley Hospice and Jigsaw Cumbria’s Children’s Hospice are hosting the biggest and best Colour Run on Sunday 14th May. If getting covered in powdered paint whilst enjoying a 5km run/walk/jog with family and friends is your thing, whilst raising money for the hospice, then please head to http://www.edenvalleyhospice.org/support-us/events/event/colour-run-2017 – it would be great to have you join us.
Finding confidence from the stories we tell ourselves
/by Admin2I’ve been struck recently by the number of women and men I’ve been working with who have expressed a need to ‘feel more confident’, whether that be about their decisions, their leadership, the way they appear, how they feel in a group, a new experience.
And this got me wondering…what is it about this feeling or this state of ‘confidence’ that we believe will unlock our potential and help us lead happier more courageous lives? And how can we invite it in?
The stories we tell ourselves
Our need to feel confident can be fuelled by feelings of not being good enough, a fear of failure and by over-thinking. We tell ourselves stories (and often they are stories, carefully constructed to substantiate a belief we may have held for a long time, suitably lacking in solid, recent evidence): ‘they don’t really think I did a good job; they’re just being nice’ or ‘they haven’t answered my email yet. That’s because they aren’t interested in my idea’.
We tell ourselves these stories so frequently and so eloquently that they become our reality, the version of ourselves we hold to be true. These stories shape who we are and who we become.
But what if we were to edit the stories or even re-write them? What if we could discover those stories which would, rather than stopping us doing things or getting in the way, nourish us and enable us to do the things we really want to achieve. What would that be like?
Confidence is….
Confidence is like…’standing tall; it’s shiny and purple; it’s grounded and strong; it’s like sparkly new shoes which are bouncy and light; it’s energy; it’s knowing it’s right; confidence is trust in yourself; it’s honouring who you are’. Just a few responses to the question, ‘what is confidence like’? Close your eyes. Breathe in deep. Think of a time when you’ve felt confident, at home, with friends, at work….what is confidence like for you?
The first step to re-shaping our stories and therefore ourselves is to understand exactly what it is we are telling ourselves. What beliefs am I holding on to which limit me? And then….what will I believe instead which will empower me, to be confident and at my best? And finally….to really believe it…it’s no longer a story but a truth. It’s who you are.
The Mind-Body connection
Our experience may tell us that feeling confident can help us do things we might ordinarily shy away from, that presentation at the annual meeting, for example. It may tell us that how we feel can affect our behaviour and our performance. Amy Cuddy, Harvard Business School Professor, social psychologist and presenter of one of the most viewed TED talks of all time, ‘Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are’, asserts that if we manage our physical selves we can influence our thinking and therefore our confidence levels. In other words, our minds and our bodies are interconnected; a change in one will affect a change in the other. Try it for yourself. Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Close in your body, lower your head, make yourself small. Stay like that for a moment or two. What is that like? What are your thoughts? How is your confidence? Now, slowly open up, stretch, reach upward, make yourself really big. Stay in that position for a few moments. Notice what that is like. What has happened to your facial expression, to your breathing? What are your thoughts now? How confident do you feel?
Cuddy’s research shows that by managing our posture we generate hormonal responses, increasing levels of testosterone (that which can make us feel powerful) and decreasing levels of cortisol (that which can make us feel stressed). And these play into our thoughts and our actions. That presentation becomes more achievable, that difficult conversation much easier. Have a look at the TED talk – it certainly changed things for me.
The next chapter
How we are in the world can impact on the stories we tell ourselves. And the language we choose to narrate our stories is vital to our sense of self and to how confident we feel.
By noticing our stories and learning to create them afresh, we can narrate for ourselves a different outcome, a different reality, a different truth.
The Didsbury House Hotel is the setting for ‘Shine Brighter’, an opportunity to discover your own story and feel more confident. The lovely Lisa Jeskins and I will be working together to deliver this on 3rd March 2017 with more workshops over the course of next year. To book your place click on Claire Bradshaw Associates website:
www.clairembradshaw.co.uk