By Florence Madden

I have been on the scale between dismay and anger over the last few weeks over things I have read on social media and heard on news channels.

The dismay has been around the sloppy sharing of misinformation with no apparent attempt to check its veracity. The anger has been around how misinformation is used deliberately to fit a narrative and therefore to justify abuse and even violence.

It brought to mind a Zen story about Hakuin:

Is That So?

The Zen Master Hakuin lived in a town in Japan. He was held in high regard and many people came to him for spiritual teaching. Then it happened that the teenage daughter of his next-door neighbour became pregnant. When being questioned by her angry and scolding parents as to the identity of the father, she finally told them that he was Hakuin, the Zen master. In great anger the parents rushed over to Hakuin and told him with much shouting and accusing that their daughter had confessed that he was the father. All he replied was:

 “Is that so?”
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News of the scandal spread throughout the town and beyond. The Master lost his reputation. This did not trouble him. Nobody came to see him anymore. He remained unmoved. When the child was born, the parents brought the baby to Hakuin, “You are the father, so look after him.”  His reply again was:

“Is that so?”

The Master took loving care of the child. A year later, the mother remorsefully confessed to her parents that the real father of the child was the young man who worked at the butcher shop. In great distress they went to see Hakuin to apologize and ask for forgiveness. “We are really sorry. We have come to take the baby back. Our daughter confessed that you are not the father.” Once again:

“Is that so?” is all he would say as he handed the baby over to them.

There are numerous interpretations of this story and the one that struck me this week was how easily people can take in misinformation and take often drastic action without giving any consideration that they might be wrong. Maybe also, the need to find a scapegoat.  When emotions are high…. do we need to find someone to blame as an outlet… or is it an excuse for something else? And then there is the girl in the story telling a lie when under pressure.

Aren’t these human failings though? We look to make sense of things particularly when they upset us….and in doing so we can make big mistakes on a small and a large scale.  The NLP pre-supposition that has been helpful to me is:

The Map Is Not the Territory

In other words how we see something is not necessarily how it is – and how we see and hear things is hugely influenced by our environment and what we are perceiving within it.  I cannot claim that it is easy to look dispassionately at events or that I always do it myself. I just wonder if we asked ourselves ‘Is that so?’ more often before reacting, (particularly on social media), how that would help relationships on a personal level, as well as changing the public discourse around events ?

There is something more though. The misinformation around the perpetrator of the horrific events in Southport, and the Algerian boxer in the Olympics has been conveniently weaponised by those seeking to bolster their narrative or their poll ratings, whether they know the truth or not.  It brings to mind a cautionary quote usually attributed to Edmund Burke  the Irish Statesman & philosopher:

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.”

So maybe control of these bigger events is beyond our power ….but looking critically at what we see on social media and asking ourselves ‘Is that so?’ before we accept, comment or share them might be a start ? What a difference this question might make to our personal relationships …. as well as our society !