The Lady in the Lake

The Lady in the Lake
By Andy Dixon

The lady and the lake had a regular acquaintance. “Good morning fine lady and how are you today?” The lake would pronounce. The voice was greeted with a distinguished smile, an eloquent look, and a nod of calculated thought! An air of calm, a tactful pause, an unassuming stare, a considered view, but still the silence remained!

“Good morning fine lady and how you are today” the lake pronounced again! A thoughtful face, a warm embrace, a friendly grin, stayed well within. A resolute stance, no need to dance, observant mode, and serene, composed, cordial type, no need for hype! But the silence still remained!

“How are you today” the lake proclaimed, no further questions on the way! Self-control remained within, whilst further calculated thoughts begin! Ingenious, apt, creative and clever, all within this imaginative figure! One final check it’s time to go, return to the world most of us know! Silence maintained a self -check complete, not answering the voice, not needing receipt.

So what was the question being asked by the lake? The magical water surely could not be a fake! The mystery within would surely unveil, no voice has a lake, nor such a distinct tale. The answer’s the image, reflection we see when we look in deep water, a reflection of thee!

Telling Tales………….?

Needing inspiration from a cyclist, a leopard, a chameleon, a hare, a tortoise or even a lion tamer………..then this new section of my website is just for you. Since childhood we have learnt through stories……..and we communicate with others through stories too. Indulge yourself in these stories written by delegates on my NLP Business Practitioner…………….

Here’s just one to whet your appetite…………..

Round the World
By Simon Allcock

A cyclist is training for her round the world adventure. At 60 years old she’s still a lady in her prime, with experience and skills. She has spent year training so she has the required fitness. This trip is her life’s dream.
She has researched carefully all the things she may require for her adventure and she has built up the required items over the course of her training.

Each item she packs has a reason behind it:

  • The pump, because when she gets a puncture, she needs to re-inflate the tyre.
  • The mountaineering jacket because when she passes through the mountains it will be freezing cold
  • The sun visor and sun block to protect her skin from the sun when she crosses the desert
  • The GPS and detailed maps to ensure she doesn’t get lost
  • 3 kinds of identification documents so she can renegotiate her visas if her plans change.
  • he waterproof oversuit for when it rains
  • The ipad so she can write her blog
  • A locket which had been an heirloom from her father.

She would have everything she needed.

Finally all her gear was packed and loaded onto the bike and she set off.

Her pink bike groaned under the weight of the load, turning the pedals was so hard… At the first hills in Kent she stood up on the pedals and strained and puffed and panted up the first small hill. Fainting to the top she collapsed and soon a crowd had gathered.

“She can’t do it.” They said.
“She’s not fit enough.” Said another.
“She doesn’t have the right gear.”
“It was a stupid idea anyway.”

She cried.

After a while she carefully unhooked all the bags from the bike and left them there at the side of the road…….. All of her thoughtfully packed kit. She looked at it all there, and there was look in her eye.
She got back on the bike. It felt suddenly light and responsive to her efforts. She flew down the hill and up the next valley. Over dales and crossed the sea to Europe and onward towards the East.

  • When she got a puncture she borrowed a pump from a lovely lady who stopped to help in Germany
  • When it got freezing cold in the mountains she bought a jacket from a stall at the side of the road.
  • When she crossed the desert she took advice from the Uzbekistani women and wrapped a cotton fabric loose round her face
  • When she got lost she asked for help and received directions, food and offers of accommodation
  • When she had to renegotiate her visas she rang her son and asked him to courier the documents to her while she waited in some of the most exotic cities in the world
  • When it rained she got wet
  • And when she wanted to write her blog – she would find an internet café , and relax over a coffee and chat with the other travellers.

And when a handsome gentleman smiled at her from across the foyer of the Royal Hotel in Tbilisi, she smiled back, thinking about how much she missed her father.

Time for Change ?

Katie Woods-Ruddick
Head of HR & Training, Hays Travel

One of my biggest learning experiences in learning with regard to NLP is around how you are personally responsible for what happens in your world and with that comes with choices……………..

Once you understand that and accept it, it opens up a whole and very powerful world. I have realised that no-one can make you feel anything / do anything (without force of course!) and that freedom and acceptance is quite liberating. If you have had a bad day at work / a difficult meeting it is only you that can choose to let it affect you and maybe take it home, or you can choose to reflect note some personal learning, perhaps address the situation if appropriate and then move on!.

With this freedom comes the realisation that at times we cause our own problems by the way we choose to react or by not addressing a situation so in order to be as effective as possible it requires you to be brave at times (or you can choose not to and accept that’s not you).

Finally, when things are not working the way we want them to, the only way forward is to change, we cannot make others change therefore the best way forward is for us to change, the way we do things / react whatever it takes to get the best outcome! A very powerful life lesson, that if applied can have amazing results at work and at home.

Recently I realised that the job that I had been doing for the last 14 years didn’t inspire me the way it used to and it felt the right time to change. I knew I would have to make some tough decisions but to the alternative was to stay in the role that no longer fitted completely with who I am. So after much thought and discussions both at home and at worked I came to a compromise of reducing my hours to enable me to explore other opportunities elsewhere.

Remember

  • You are personally responsible for your own universe
  • You make your choices – and have to live with the outcomes so make them wisely!
  • If something is not working your way then change as doing the same thing the same way will bring the same results so make that change!

Diary of an NLP Business Practitioner ……Starting in Fibber Magee’s In Lancaster !

Jim Maguire
Communities and Leisure Manager at South Lakeland District Council

Picture the scene, 6 baby birds sitting in their nest waiting for the wise mother bird to return with a worm or at least that’s what it felt like on the first morning of the recent NLP Business Practitioner course. 6 newbies eager to be fed. That was some weeks ago now and what a trip it has been………………

With only a couple of days notice before the course started and faced with reading Sue Knight’s book my journey began in Fibber Magee’s Irish pub in Lancaster. Long story for another day ……..but it involved Sue Knight, Guinness and Mozart.

Chapter 1 flew by. This was easy!
Chapter 2 took a little longer.
Chapter 3 almost a week. This is going to be heavy going.

Day 1 of the course came and off we set.
Nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught that was coming:

5 Pillars of NLP. Prime Directives of the unconscious mind. Countless pre-suppositions. Milton Model. Meta Model. This was a foreign language…… I never got French so this was going to be difficult.

Day 2. OMG. Melt down day! Enough said.

Day 3 I began with a work meeting and so I missed an hour or two. But then clarity ! The clouds were clearing and the fog of confusion started to lift after all “we have all the resources we need”. Right?

Day 4, 5, 6 are a blur of timelines, logical levels and parts integrations.

And then it came exam day! Everyone else had a quiz but I had an exam.

Needless to say we passed. I never understood what all the fuss was about thanks to Guinness and Mozart this was easy, right?

So back to work and what’s changed. I was asked by a colleague “what’s it like then?”

What’s what like?

You know…… NLP!

Difficult to explain in a word say I…….. Amazing will do…… No wait enlightening…… Or thought-provoking.

No amazing….. That’ll do….. Yep…… Amazing.

Along the way I’ve dealt with a bogey man, cured a chocolate habit and found a new place to be when it all goes pear shaped.

Since finishing the NLP Business Practitioner I’ve also been accepted as a Chartered Fellow of the Management Institute and been accepted as Mentor on their Mentor programme. Amazing what a bit of self belief can bring.

I have one tip.

BSPOT (5 Pillars)

Behavioural Flexibility
Sensory Acuity
Psychology and Physiology of Excellence
Outcome Thinking
Take Responsibility

Using the Outcome Frame and putting myself at Cause*

Wendy Harbutt, Director of Dramatic Improvement
TRAINING : COACHING : FACILITATION : ROLEPLAY
(And delegate on the NLP Business Practitioner at Eynsham Hall Oxfordshire in January)

Above and beyond the value that my NLP learning has added to my coaching practice, and to my work with others, is the value that it has brought to me personally. So being what I call ‘deliciously selfish’ for a moment, I’ll share an epiphany I had whilst on the NLP Business Practitioner programme with Florence.

It came when I was letting my mind consider what I wanted in life, using an Outcome Frame**. I noticed that lots of what I was doing wasn’t really in tune with what I wanted and I found myself thinking through all the reasons for this. I noticed that most of these reasons came in a voice that was ‘at effect’ ie things I was doing because I felt I had to, mostly for others. I realised that I hadn’t really checked that assumption on some significant parts of my own life and so I resolved to do that checking. It may sound trite to say that this moment changed my life, but it’s true. Or rather what I’ve done as a result of that thinking….. is changing my life. Having that clear point of focus has brought a perspective that has simplified my thinking and the result is that I not only feel much clearer, but also feel that what I want to have happen, is possible for me to achieve !

www.dramaticimprovement.co.uk

* Cause and Effect… when we put ourselves at cause this means that we take responsibility for what happens to us, when we are at effect we blame others or circumstances. We are at our most powerful when we put ourselves at cause !

** Outcome frame is one of the ‘frames’ of NLP. Framing in NLP terms refers to the way we put things into different contexts to give them different meanings. If we alter the frame, we alter the meaning.

The Mastery of Leadership – New Book by Dr David Fraser !

David Fraser (informal)Dr David Fraser author of ‘Relationship Mastery’ has a new book out in March called ‘The Mastery of Leadership: Presence and Practice in Transformational Change’ ….and I have been privileged to read the draft copy……………

His new book is less of a ‘how to do leadership’, and more of a’ how are you thinking about leadership ?’. I think it is a book which stimulates reflection, challenges thinking and one that will tempt the reader, (and certainly this reader), back between its covers time and again to savour the questions it poses. In a changing world ‘leaders’ need to evolve and change…….and this book is an excellent tool to support this process. Having read it…….. I am now looking forward to going back to the start, to see what further treasures it holds !

“A powerful book full of grace and wisdom” (Gene Early, Internationally recognized leadership advisor)

ANLP Accreditation Achieved!

I am delighted to announce that ANLP have approved the content of my ‘open’ courses for accreditation:

  • Personal Effectiveness at Work
  • Introduction to NLP/Personal Excellence at Work

This means that all delegates (from September) will now receive an ANLP Accredited certificate on completion of the course, whether they attend as an ‘open’ course or if the courses are run in-house for their organisations !
A nice addition to your CV as well as your skill base !

Powerful Learning…..is best shared !!

Alyson Staines
Farm Executive Manager
XLVets

I was lucky enough to participate in the Personal Effectiveness at Work course earlier this year and the ongoing effects of the learning have been great! It’s given me a new found level of confidence and (when I take the time to think) a new way of doing things……..

On a weekly basis since the course I’ve integrated the pre-suppositions (of NLP) into our team updates emails; looking at how the week has gone and what may be coming up the following week, I choose a suitable pre-supposition and share it with everyone.

I work for XLVet UK Ltd, a membership organisation made up of 52 independent veterinary practices. I’m part of the head office operations based at Dalston near Carlisle in Cumbria however we also have colleagues in Ripon, Derby and Essex. As the ‘team’ have grown, we’ve found that there’s no substitution for regular face to face meetings, one such meeting gave me the perfect opportunity to deliver some more of my learnings.

I was tasked with organising the whole event – a forte of mine so I’m told, so decided on a steamer ride down Ullswater, lunch in Glenridding then a return boat to Pooley Bridge. The fact that the weather was beautiful, we got to watch a wedding and a flypast was also accredited to my seemingly superb organisational skills! I accepted the positive feedback most graciously.

During our ‘team building’ day out, I was to deliver a communication message so chose the Johari Window model and a little bit of Transactional Analysis. It was going to be an interesting challenge as at no point were we going to be in a meeting room environment so with a bit of thought, transformed myself into a human flip chart and went armed with a rucksack full of sharpie pens and paper. As it turned out the boat was a little too busy to deliver anything without involving a load of unsuspecting tourists. However, that part of the day was used perfectly ‘structuring time’, there were positive stokes a plenty so by the time we reach our destination we had all but reached ‘intimacy’. (Reference: Structuring Time model, Transactional Analysis.)

The session began with Johari Window, with everyone happy to get involved. It created some fantastic discussion about the importance of ‘Open Book’ behaviours for effective working relationships and the consequences of working with/ or being seen as an ‘Interviewer’, a ‘Bull in a china shop’ or a ‘Turtle’. We learnt a little more about each other and I believe gained a better understanding of the different environments we work in and the challenges we face.

Sadly time beat us but I was happy that the group got so much out of that part of the session. I received some fantastic feedback and everyone is keen to continue my session during our next meeting in November, sunshine and a wedding at Scotch Corner could be a tricky one to pull off!

Congratulations on achieving NLP Business Practitioner!!!

Congratulations to Amanda, Beverley, Andrea, Hayley, Steve, Andy and Kerry on achieving NLP Business Practitioner!!!

And some of their ‘Personal Effects’ ……

….the course was excellent. Florence is approachable, inspiring and patient. She is a personal role model for NLP- she reflects how adopting NLP behaviours and attitudes- can not only make you a better coach but a better person….Beverley Little Retail Staff Development Manager, Hays Travel

I would highly recommend this programme to anyone wanting to improve their management skills within their organisation………… There was exactly the right mix of activities to ensure effective learning took place.Kerry Glaister Project Officer – Employment & Training, Riverside

Fantastic; from an initial position of scepticism toward the topic after being involved with other similar training/management sessions where I never got much out of it, Florence’s training style made it so worthwhile for me………. Inspirational; she made the whole course flow so naturally……..Her enthusiasm for the content made it easier to learn.Steve Balmer Independent Financial Consultant, David Allen Wealth Management

When is a Goal not a Goal? (new year resolutions and how to get an A grade)

By Jill Harrison – NLP Trainer and Associate

When is a goal not a goal?

When there is no ball…?

When there are no nets…?

When there are no players…or players that didn’t bother to turn up for the match?

Any of the above, really!

Most new year’s resolutions are goals that are formed with the best of intentions and huge dollop of motivation, especially with the relative excesses of Christmas indulgencies making themselves known on our waistlines along with the onset of conscience-prodding summer holiday ads on our screens. By new year many of us are ready for new beginnings; a fresh start; a healthier lifestyle.

…and then, after around 3 weeks, most (88% according to one piece of research) of our resolutions fail. We give up. We lose motivation. We don’t have the willpower. We choose instant gratification over our long-term, and perfectly genuine goals.

Now those of you who know anything about goal-setting will know that in order for goals to succeed we need to make them SMART (look it up if new to you)  – don’t we? Well, yes… certainly, in order to know that the goal is do-able, and to know that we have reached a goal such as a target weight loss, going to the gym three times a week, stopping smoking…or…or…or…then of course we need to know where our goal nets are, and we need to know that the ball has crossed the goal line.

So why, then do even the most achievable and clearly articulated new year resolutions fail? And how do you go about getting that A grade in succeeding in what it is you really want? Well, according to Benjamin Zander, the world renowned orchestral conductor and inspirational teacher of music, GOALS are GRIM. While Zander acknowledges that goals are necessary as part of the process towards ‘Getting an A Grade’, they also set us up to either succeed or fail, win or lose, get there or get lost along the way.

When it comes to our personal aspirations we are more likely to recognise and celebrate small moments of success if we do not set ourselves up for all or nothing / win or lose in the first place. As an alternative, Zander encourages us to:

1 Remember that ‘It’s all invented’

All those rules – those shoulds, musts and ought-tos that limit us from becoming who we want to be are merely illusions that we take on board when we really don’t have to. Go for the desires that make your eyes light up, fill you with passion and life, and let go of concerns about what others think.  In the words of poet David Whyte (from The House of Belonging) ‘Anything or anyone who does not bring you alive is too small for you’.

2 Stand in possbility

Think of yourself as already an A grade student at what you want for the new you and you are more likely to applaud the mistakes and set-backs you will inevitably make along the way and see them instead as opportunities for new learning and growth. And if it is too difficult to reach your goal…simply move the goal-posts!

3 Don’t take yourself so seriously

I have nothing to add to this. Get over yourself – life will happen anyway.

When is a goal not a goal? When it is a goal not worth having as a resolution because it is doomed to fail from the outset, because however SMART the goal is, it doesn’t fill you with the stuff that brings you alive enough to trump those moments of instant gratification your unconscious mind will demand of you before very long.

So to get the most out of your new year…set your compass in the direction of your desires, have goals along the way (as yardstick markers rather than as the destination), go easy on yourself when you do succumb to instant gratification – then check your compass direction, re-set it if you need to – and enjoy what is happening along the way, mistakes and all.

Back-o-the net!

Oh, and if all else fails, try these resolutions:

1. Stop making lists

B. Learn to be consistent

7. Learn to count

Take a look at Benjamin Zander’s talk on ‘How to give an A’ to find out more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTKEBygQic0