This summer saying ‘thank you’ has been on my mind a lot ………….. thinking about people I need to thank and being annoyed with myself that haven’t done so yet…………..the joyous impact that a thank you from others has made on me, when I given a gift or helped them in some way…………..and the importance of remembering to be thankful for all the good things in my life…………..

It is all too easy to forget to say thank you (even when we are grateful) and unless we do, how can the other person know it ? When we don’t say it, what interpretation can they make ?

And saying ‘thank you’ is a recurring theme in the experience of successful people………………

……………Those of you who have been in courses with me will have heard and experienced the importance of saying ‘thank you’ when receiving feedback………whether you wanted to hear it or not, it is still a valuable gift.

……………When I started my business 12 years ago I listened to a really thought provoking talk on the importance of saying ‘ thank you’ in business…….to both strengthen relationships and keep that business flowing. Good advice at a busy time when it could have been missed !

……………My friend Jenny Mackness recently also sent me this:

‘Something my sister and I have begun doing which is having quite a profound effect on my way of thinking and being, is texting one another on a daily basis about 3 things that have gone well/made us happy that day. Which in turn has made me much more thankful about my day and appreciate being in that moment.

There are days when I think “have there been 3?” but if I stop and think for a moment, there always are.’

As I was preparing to write this piece sadly my mother died… and I think like most mums she emphasised the importance of saying ‘thank you’ to me from a young age. Like most children I needed to develop the maturity to see the real importance of this beyond simple good manners… and also it is only on looking back do I fully appreciate how saying ‘thank you’ and being thankful, was how she lived her life. She ‘walked the talk’… I am thankful for that !

I often talk on courses about the gulf between our intention towards others and our impact on them……………might remembering to say thank you, be one way that we can take action now, in order to close the gap ?

I was lucky enough to participate in the Personal Effectiveness at Work course earlier this year and the ongoing effects of the learning have been great! It’s given me a new found level of confidence and (when I take the time to think) a new way of doing things……..

On a weekly basis since the course I’ve integrated the pre-suppositions (of NLP) into our team updates emails; looking at how the week has gone and what may be coming up the following week, I choose a suitable pre-supposition and share it with everyone.

I work for XLVet UK Ltd, a membership organisation made up of 52 independent veterinary practices. I’m part of the head office operations based at Dalston near Carlisle in Cumbria however we also have colleagues in Ripon, Derby and Essex. As the ‘team’ have grown, we’ve found that there’s no substitution for regular face to face meetings, one such meeting gave me the perfect opportunity to deliver some more of my learnings.

I was tasked with organising the whole event – a forte of mine so I’m told, so decided on a steamer ride down Ullswater, lunch in Glenridding then a return boat to Pooley Bridge. The fact that the weather was beautiful, we got to watch a wedding and a flypast was also accredited to my seemingly superb organisational skills! I accepted the positive feedback most graciously.

During our ‘team building’ day out, I was to deliver a communication message so chose the Johari Window model and a little bit of Transactional Analysis. It was going to be an interesting challenge as at no point were we going to be in a meeting room environment so with a bit of thought, transformed myself into a human flip chart and went armed with a rucksack full of sharpie pens and paper. As it turned out the boat was a little too busy to deliver anything without involving a load of unsuspecting tourists. However, that part of the day was used perfectly ‘structuring time’, there were positive stokes a plenty so by the time we reach our destination we had all but reached ‘intimacy’. (Reference: Structuring Time model, Transactional Analysis.)

The session began with Johari Window, with everyone happy to get involved. It created some fantastic discussion about the importance of ‘Open Book’ behaviours for effective working relationships and the consequences of working with/ or being seen as an ‘Interviewer’, a ‘Bull in a china shop’ or a ‘Turtle’. We learnt a little more about each other and I believe gained a better understanding of the different environments we work in and the challenges we face.

Sadly time beat us but I was happy that the group got so much out of that part of the session. I received some fantastic feedback and everyone is keen to continue my session during our next meeting in November, sunshine and a wedding at Scotch Corner could be a tricky one to pull off!